A New Chapter Begins with Tears

So much has changed since my last post.

On Nov. 13 I saw the podiatrist again, who suggested based on the tenderness of the heel that I "start over" with the effort to fix the PF. No running for a month. And since cycling was causing that weird ankle pain, no cycling either. Wear supportive shoes while walking. He assured me that we needed to use the supportive shoes for the time being, as a "cast to allow my foot to rest." (Fair enough, but if you can call the shoe a "cast" for an initial healing period, good luck if you think you're going to convince me that that's the same shoe I should use for running when that time comes.)

Considering that I thought I had already done this no running approach, and had been so good at listening to my body by taking two months off right after the marathon, the idea of starting over, again, 6 months later, with no running at all was beyond irritating. On the one hand, it turned out to be the worst two months of my life to not be able to do the exercises I enjoy most. On the other, I'm not sure I would've been doing much exercise during this time even had I been able. I was spending way more time and energy on my much-loved cat than I had expected. Her health, and extra efforts to spoil her rotten (since we weren't sure how much time we'd have left with her) took a surprising amount of time out of my days (and my nights - I am an easy and deep sleeper, and even I started taking a sleeping pill).

On Dec. 14, I saw the podiatrist for a follow-up assessment. The foot was getting better, so he told me to keep doing what I was doing. Great. Another month - no running, no cycling. I had decided I would give his way 2-3 months and then decide if I was going to go back to my own efforts (I could see the value of "resting" an injury -- but not for whatever I deemed to be "too long.")

This sucked more than simply because I couldn't run. My cat was having some post-surgical issues and this was really emotionally draining for me and my husband. Having now spent 3 months caring for a dearly loved 13-year-old cat with post-surgical/cancer-related issues, I can't imagine how parents stay sane caring for their chronically ill non-furry babies. It's so scary and heart-wrenching, and tiring. Two of the most stressful months of my life, and I couldn't run. Which isn't to say I couldn't do any exercise, but I didn't. I just wasn't in the mood to make the extra effort to go beyond my comfort zone -- too much else to think about.  (Eventually I did buy a new bathing suit, though, and I've gone swimming a handful of times. So at least that little alternative-activity hurdle is out of the way.)

Between mid-December and mid-January, I started seeing someone who is something between a massage therapist and a chiropractor to work on my ankle. This was someone recommended to me by my long-time massage therapist, as he specializes in ankle and wrist issues. I also started standing on a baseball for 3-5 min. a night before going to bed. (I read that a softball should be used, but all I had was a baseball. And after a few days the hardness of the baseball was not a big deal, but instead felt pretty darn good stretching out that plantar fascia.)  I figured this certainly wouldn't hurt anything, and perhaps was at least a good attempt at an alternative to wearing the Strassburg Sock the podiatrist had prescribed, as I found that it hurt my big toe so much that I had to pull it off during the middle of the night.

I don't know what combo of things did it, but around New Year's, after about 2 weeks of the baseball and 2 visits to the ankle guy, my PF started feeling noticeably better.

On Jan. 11, I saw the podiatrist again, who poked at the foot and determined it was time to start me on a run/walk program (we're talking 1 min. run, 1 min. walk x 5 -- serious new runner type program). I was grateful to be at a point where it seemed reasonable to everyone involved that I start back into the running, however slowly.

But then on Jan. 12, everything in my world stopped, as we had to put our sweet BabyCat to sleep. And so we entered a new chapter in our home with considerable sobbing, grief, and heartache. I'm not going to put down here all my thoughts about my supercute kitty and how dearly I loved her and how terribly I miss her, but suffice it to say that the hole she left in our family is enormous. She was like the bookends of our life. Of all the places we went and things we did, she was here seeing us off before, and here to welcome us back home after. She had such a large personality and played such an important role in our lives-- it is only the many years of wonderful memories we have with her that help soothe the pain of losing her.

I forced myself to the gym on Wed. Jan. 13. to start the run/walk program.  Not because I even cared about the running that day, but because I'd been trying since just before the New Year to stop making excuses and do some kind of exercise (mostly just weights/core work at the gym, some swims) to manage the growing stress of my cat's illness. The only way to cope with her death was to just keep putting one foot in front of the other -- and the 45 min. at the gym was 45 minutes I wasn't sitting in a sobbing heap of sadness on my couch.

So I've started the run/walk program, which calls for runs every other day. At the end of 3 weeks, if all goes well, I will end this program with a 20 min. run, no walking. So far, I've done the runs in the VFFs on the treadmill. Once yesterday, my ankle threatened to twinge, but it never actually happened. The ankle twinges after cycling and even sometimes when I'm just walking around (which at least tells me it's not caused by running) though it has done so much less in the past month. I think the ankle guy is doing something right as I'm really noticing improvements in ankle flexibility.

Jan. 13 Run 1 min. Walk 1 min. x 5

Jan. 15
Run 1 min, walk 1 min x 1
Run 1:30, walk 1 min. x 2
Run 2 min, walk 1 min x 2

Jan. 18
Run 2 min, walk 1 min x 2
Run 3 min, walk 1 min x 2

And so the story of my kitty drama ends, and the story of my running starts...yet again.

A Furry Tangent

Well I needn't have worried what I exercise I was going to do last week as I ended up not doing any at all. My cat was scheduled for an ultrasound on Tuesday to confirm or deny whether my vet had actually felt the abnormal lump in her belly that he thought he had felt at a regularly scheduled checkup three weeks earlier. Sure enough, he had. My 12 year old cat had lost 1.5 pounds in 3 weeks, had begun vomiting, and had a confirmed malignant tumor on her colon. After weighing the options, and given her overall good health, we decided to have the tumor removed, and fast. She went in for surgery on Friday, and came home on Saturday. We're now 5 days post-op, and the kitty is doing very well, except for the cone on her head that and the less than fully cooperative attitude toward taking her pills (Photo shows her resting on her favorite comfy chair. We built box stairs up to it since she's not allowed to do any jumping for 2-3 weeks).

The entire week was such a bundle of fear and worry, I did my best to just curb the stress eating (can you say Halloween candy?), letting exercise and all the happy foot stretches and strengthening exercises go by the wayside. This week, I'm trying to get back on my game. I'm planning on following the Runner's World Barefoot Forum's barefoot running plan, starting with stage 3 (since I've been making the switch to living and running more barefoot since August).

Before getting completely sidetracked by my fur baby, I came to a realization: that even my version of starting slow with the barefooting perhaps wasn't slow enough. I started at 1/4 mile, and slowly increased to 3/4,  1.5,  1.7,  2.1 and so on, but I followed a straight linear progression up to 4.25 miles. What I'm realizing is that I should've hit 1.5 miles, and then continued to run only 1.5 miles for say 2-3 weeks, before then moving up to 2 miles, and running that distance for 2-3 weeks and so on.

So whatever thing in my ankle is hurting, I think I just overused it without giving it a chance to strengthen. So here we go again. And I'm thinking that I'll only ever go in the VFFs as far as I've already learned how to run barefoot. (At least that's my thinking, though with winter coming that may not be realistic. I suppose if I use the VFFs to go longer distances I'll just have to be very conservative with how much longer I go.)

10/31 -- 3/8 mile
11/3 -- 1/2 mile

With such short running distances planed for the foreseeable future, I've *got* to get more gym/cardio time in. That new swimsuit may still have to happen if I'm going to be off the bike for a bit, too.

Swimsuit Season?

My visit to the podiatrist last week went approximately how I'd expected it to, but I'm glad I went anyway. First of all, he was at least familiar with the Pose method and barefoot running and all of that -- so I appreciated being able to have a discussion of the topic with a real live person with some knowledge of the issue (as compared to the orthopedic surgeon that originally diagnosed my plantar fasciitis, who had never heard of the forefoot running approach and could only tell me that a heel strike is the "most stable" for the skeletal structure).

After a lengthy discussion, it came down to this:
(1) Barefoot running is a useful training tool when done on grass for short distances.
(2) The biomechanical effects of the very slight overpronation in my right foot can best be fixed by a proper orthotic.
(3) The arch strengthening exercises and PF stretches/exercises I've been doing are good for any runner to do (more strength in the feet and ankles is better), but will not change the static strength of my foot.

and...this is my favorite part...
(4) The Pose method (forefoot strike) is appropriate for faster running (ie 7 min. miles or faster), but not for slower running, when a heel strike is "more natural."

It took considerable effort for me to understand this final point that he was making, as it didn't make any sense to me. Once I was finally able to get my head around it, I restated it to be sure I was getting it right. He confirmed that, yes, I was understanding him correctly. But no, it still doesn't make any sense to me.

Round and Round We Go
Pod: When we sprint, we all run on our forefoot. (No argument.) That's the natural technique for running fast, he says.  But when we slow down, our natural stride changes, and we don't run well on our forefeet. Thus we adopt a more "natural" technique - a heel strike.
Me: A more natural technique - but more natural in shoes, you mean.
Pod: Yes, of course, you'll never land on your heel barefoot, because your body instinctively knows that will hurt.
Me: Right, so how is it that my body will run naturally, that is, correctly, if I run fast barefoot, but will start running incorrectly suddenly when I slow down?
Pod: Because when you slow down, a forefoot strike produces poor form, and doesn't allow you to run naturally.
Me: But aren't I running naturally if I'm running barefoot?
Pod: Only if you're running fast. 


It is just me or does this sound rather circular? If it doesn't sound circular to you, please, educate me! Of all the things I expected to hear, this was definitely something new. He suggested I do a video gait analysis so he can show me "how unnatural it looks" when a person runs forefoot at low speeds versus high. I told him I don't care how it looks if it's what is good for my body! Are we comparing how it looks against the current prevailing image of what running "is supposed to" look like? Because that seems unlikely to be useful. But perhaps I'm just being a contrarian.

And perhaps I'm oversimplifying his point and the gait analysis will show me something useful. I'm always willing to admit that I don't know what I don't know. Besides, I've already met my insurance deductible this year, and I'm willing to get a little more information from "the establishment" to weigh against the massive amount of information I've been gathering on minimalist running.

All that aside, he couldn't confirm the tendonitis I thought I was experiencing. He couldn't put pressure anywhere on the foot that would indicate that the posterior tibialis tendon is irritated. That said, I realized this weekend that the spot I pointed to when he asked where it hurts was off the mark. The day I went in, the ankle wasn't sore (as the ankle isn't generally sore unless I run too far on it). But over the weekend I went for a bike ride, and that irritated the same bit of my ankle that gets irritated when I run. So I realized that I'd pointed him to the wrong spot, but I'm still guessing its a tendon or ligament in there somewhere.

After the long discussion with the podiatrist, I asked what to do next. Essentially, we spent so much time discussing the background of my PF, barefooting, and related issues, that I need to make another appointment for him to get a better handle on what specifically is hurting me now (with the gait analysis and some other tests) to move forward. Understandable. But since there's no appointment available for all that stuff to happen at the same time until November 13, I'm left pretty much deciding my own course for the next couple of weeks. (He did suggest that I go out and get a new pair of Brooks in the meantime, since I told him that's what I used to run in. But, um. No thanks. He's got a remarkably long way to go to convince me that that's the right course of action.)

Rest/Protection Mode for This Week

That said, the podiatrist outlined the importance of looking at injuries in three stages (1) rest/protection, (2) rehab/recovery, and (3) return to activity. This was not new information, but a good reminder for the importance of not rushing stage 1. So regardless of what this current ankle business is, it makes sense to me that right now (at one week since the serious Green Lake ouch) I'm still in rest/protection mode. I felt today like I might've been able to go out and try to see how a little run might feel. But I've already decided I'm going to wait a second whole week before I try any running at all. I'm also going to stay off the bike, since that seems to aggravate the same part of the ankle. So if I'm going to exercise this week, it's going to be time to buy a new bathing suit (this summer I finally threw away the horribly saggy one I bought in 1989. Yes, seriously). Or maybe I'll just stick to weight training and/or yoga for the week. We shall see.

I can still ride

When all else fails, I can still ride my bike! I went for a nice hilly ride yesterday in lieu of running since my ankle is still sore from Friday's too-long run. I'm still self-diagnosing Posterior Tibialis Tendonitis with this ankle business, and I think that as long as I stop running as soon as it starts to hurt, I'm ok. But on days like Sunday (and a month or so ago when I overdid it), when I push it too hard simply because it starts hurting while I'm still a mile or so from home/car, and I don't feel like walking the whole final mile, then it's very much not ok. So I've taken the weekend to just rest, ice, and ibuprofin. The arch strengthening (aka PTT-fighting) exercises that were no problem two weeks ago were definitely not doable without pain this weekend, so I didn't do them. See, I do listen to my body mostly-- and the times that I don't, well, whose fault is that, really?

I've made an appointment with a podiatrist at the sports medicine clinic I used to go to (years ago with a previous running injury) to see if my self-diagnosis is correct and just to make sure there's not anything I'm missing. But I honestly suspect this to just be more of the same: back off and RICE while it's painful, go slow and pay attention as I start back up. I'm certainly learning patience, if nothing else.

Sloshing in the Puddles!

5 mi.- kinda (1 mi. BF, 4 mi. VFFs, Green Lake)
It was pouring this morning, but I decided to get out and see what barefoot running in the rain is like. Wet, and cold at the start, but otherwise ok. I started getting a hotspot on the ball of my left foot where I'd mussed with one of my callouses. Note to self: Leave your feet alone! The little bits of dry skin around the callouses wear off easily enough as I run, but if I muss with them and pull them off myself, I'm only removing some of the protection my feet have been working so hard to build. And this leaves me with hot spots the next time I run barefoot. So after a mile today, I decided to put on the VFFs.

On the bright side, there's no worrying about puddles with the VFFs. I was able to slosh right through them! Tell me how that's not just super fun?! I love the rain, and now I love that I no longer have to avoid puddles. I was also pleased to run about 4 miles before my ankle started to feel sore. I thought I'd just walk for a bit and then finish up for a total distance of 5 miles. But if I stop to walk, and then try to start running again, the ankle seems to freak out. Shooting pain with the first two steps. I had to stand there with my foot up in the middle of the path just waiting for it to chill out for a bit, as I couldn't put any weight on it at all. Slowly, slowly I tried walking... and then running, but that didn't last so long. So I walked/ran back to the car.

When I drove home and got out of the car - same shooting pain in the ankle again. I had to just stop and slowly try to adjust the foot to a position where it would allow me to put some weight on it so I could hobble inside. Grr. Glad to have made it 4 miles before having issues. Frustrated to be having issues at all!


(10/13/09) 2.5 mi. VFF (Wedgwood)
Ankle got sore pretty quick, but given the tired foot after the weekend, I'm not terribly surprised. Will try again tomorrow.

Wedding + Heels = Ow

I have always enjoyed wearing high heels for special occasions, perhaps in part because I don't have to wear them every day to work, but even that is difficult these days. I have a great pair of otherwise comfortable heels (Clarks) for my wedding coordination days -- the heel is chunky and they have a nice wide toe box -- but after 6 hours in them yesterday, my feet are pretty pooped. (I wore flatter nice shoes for the pre-wedding running around, but even those have a slight heel.) This is no suprise, my feet always take a beating at weddings, and I don't know that this weekend was any worse.

Guess I'll see how the running goes this week. The wedding went well though. It was my first at the Dome Room at the Arctic Club Hotel. It's a beautiful space, and I really enjoyed the couple I was working with. Good times.

Distracted

3.0 mi. BF (Green Lake)
I did manage to get out for one run this week before the wedding I'm coordinating this weekend, but it didn't feel great. Maybe just because my head was distracted with the busyness of the week.

Sidewalks Getting Easier

4.25 mi. BF (Wedgwood)
Well, I'm gradually running longer before the ankle hurts, but not in leaps and bounds of distance. Ah well, slow and steady (emphasis on slow) will work I suppose. I'm noticing that the neighborhood sidewalks are not nearly so challenging to run on anymore. They're not as easy as the Burke or Greenlake by any stretch, and I'm still going quite a bit slower on them than the smooth asphalt, but still I feel it getting a little more comfortable for my feet. Guess those callouses are starting to do their job!

The dead skin on my left blister-turned-callous (the red spot that was under my pinky toe shown in the picture a while back) came off while running tonight - but no biggy. I didn't notice it until I got home and the skin beneath is completely fine. Now that both those spots are back to newer skin, I'll just keep an eye on them as they start to callous back up again (sans blisters this time, I hope).

Back to Naked Barefooting

4.0 mi. BF (Wedgwood)
Well apparently the post-blister tenderness is pretty much healed, because I was able to run a full 4 miles barefoot tonight. I didn't set any land speed records or anything -- can you say 12 min. miles?! --  as the sidewalks around here are tough for barefooting! Good for building up the callouses and foot strength, though, I suppose. I stopped because the ankle hurt, but at least I made it a little farther this time.

For the record, I've been stretching the plantar fascia most mornings before getting out of bed (and occasionally when getting up from the desk after working for long periods) and I often spend some time before getting out of bed in happy baby pose, fully extending and fully scrunching my toes, pointing and flexing my feet, and rotating my ankles (among others). These past two weeks I've been consistently doing several arch strengthening exercises: one leg balance with eyes closed, resisted eversion and inversion exercises, stepping sideways with a rubber band around my ankles (advised by my chiropractor for strengthening the peroneus), deliberately holding my arches in a neutral position while standing and walking, and heel raises upward and outward (from a source I've now forgotten). There. Now that I've put it in writing, I'll really have to maintain my consistency!

I *Love* Surprises!

3.3 mi. VFFs (Green Lake)
Good news! I think I was right about letting this post-blister heal up a bit more before I can go out barefoot again. Tonight I went to Green Lake and had a great run in the VFFs. I even felt like starting a second lap, though I didn't make it too far before my ankle pooped out. That's ok, though. I hit an avg. pace of 8:47. Speedy for me! And just so Em knows that some day I will be able to keep up with her again....Miles 2 and 3 were at 8:41 and 8:42. Everything felt really good.

And then it got better! Just as I was finishing up my first lap, I passed a handwritten sign in the grass that said "Complimentary Fitness Training" and I saw a small group of people gathering with some very fit-looking trainer types.  I had hoped to be able to keep running, so I passed it by. But after making it only another 1/2 mile or so before having to call it a day, I decided to go back and see what they had going on.

As I approached the guy manning the sign, I asked "Can anyone play?!" He cheerfully invited me to come on up and join them, as the group (of about 8 exercisers and 2 coaches) was just getting warmed up. Turns out it's a training team called Furious Fitness, and they've been doing outdoors bootcamp style training "camps" at Green Lake all summer. I was able to stop in as a first-timer and try out the class for free, but several of the other folks there had already been attending for a couple of weeks. We started with some interval training in pairs. While one person sprinted "to the tree and back," the waiting partner had to do squats. When the runner came back, we switched. We did 3 sets. For the second round, the non-running partner had to do standup/pushups while waiting (stand up with hands above the head and then down into a pushup, then back up to hands above the head, and so on).  After 3 sets of that, we did another round where the non-running partner had to lay on their back and do low scissor kicks. Given the sprints in between, I was good and pooped at the end of all that.

Since I had stopped running because the ankle was sore, I was a little nervous about the intervals, but they were a short enough distance, with stopping in between, that it wasn't a problem. After the intervals, we went back and did combos of jumping jacks, and one-leg hopping exercises, planks, lunges, and some other combos of fun fitnessy stuff. We ended with some ab exercises and stretches. I have to say that during the crunches, it was pretty cool to hear the guy say "keep your eyes toward the sky" and to actually be looking at the sky.

It turns out they're currently charging $135 for 12 classes, and I'm seriously thinking about doing it. At some point, when the weather makes it necessary, they take the training into a gym of some kind (no details on that yet). I'm already a gym member, but have long considered working with a trainer. But this seems like it would be a nice affordable way to maybe get a couple more weeks of outside workouts, with some small group training in the mix as well. Anyway, it was a great unexpected workout that was both challenging and fun. Their website says they're usually there at 6:30pm on weeknights if you want to stop by and try it out. I didn't stick around afterward to talk with them more, as it had started raining toward the end (and had gotten fairly dark - we were working out for 45-60-ish min.), and people were scattering pretty quick. But I did get a packet of info, and a friendly invitation to come back again. What a great way to end the evening's run!